Dating a coworker is more common than many might think. After all, people spend a significant portion of their waking hours at work. It’s natural to form connections, and sometimes, those connections turn romantic. But before you take that next step with a colleague, you need to understand the serious legal and professional implications. Can you get fired for dating a coworker? The answer is yes, depending on your employer’s policies and how you handle the situation.
As an employment lawyer, I’ve seen too many cases where workers are disciplined or even fired because they didn’t follow the rules or understand the legal risks of office relationships. In this blog post, we’ll cover the most important aspects of workplace dating: when and how to disclose a relationship, what employers are trying to protect against, and how to protect yourself.
Understanding Company Policies on Workplace Relationships
Before entering into a romantic relationship with a colleague, the first step is to check your company’s employee handbook or code of conduct. Most companies have clear policies governing workplace relationships, especially when they involve direct supervisors or individuals on the same team.
Why These Policies Exist
Employers aren’t trying to control your personal life just for the sake of it. The primary reason they implement these rules is to reduce the risk of lawsuits, particularly sexual harassment claims. If a relationship turns sour or one party later alleges that the relationship was not consensual, the employer could face significant liability.
By requiring employees to disclose their relationships, companies are documenting that the relationship was consensual at the outset. This is important legal protection, especially in cases where the people involved work closely together or where one holds more power than the other.
Common Disclosure Requirements
Some companies require both parties in a relationship to sign a “consensual relationship agreement” or notify Human Resources. Others may just require a verbal disclosure to your supervisor or HR representative. Failing to follow these procedures can be grounds for disciplinary action.
Legal Implications of Not Disclosing a Relationship
You might think that your personal life is your own business. However, once your relationship starts to affect the workplace, even in small ways. It becomes a professional issue. If your employer has a policy requiring disclosure and you don’t follow it, you risk termination.
Potential for Termination
In at-will employment states, your employer can fire you for any reason that isn’t illegal. If you break company policy by hiding a relationship, you could be terminated even if your work performance is strong. This is especially true if the relationship leads to gossip, resentment among coworkers, or conflicts of interest.
Risk of Harassment Allegations
If a romantic relationship at work goes south, there’s always a risk that one party might allege harassment. If there’s no record that the relationship was consensual from the start, the company is exposed to legal risk and they might blame you for not disclosing. You could become the target of an internal investigation or find yourself facing disciplinary action, even if the original relationship was entirely mutual.
Should You Date Someone at Work in the First Place?
The reality is, workplace relationships are risky. While they sometimes result in long-term partnerships or marriage, they can also lead to awkwardness, resentment, and legal complications. As an employment lawyer, I generally advise people to avoid romantic relationships with coworkers when possible.
Why It Rarely Ends Well
Even if the relationship is going well, your coworkers might assume favoritism, especially if one of you holds a more senior position. If the relationship ends, you’re stuck working with someone you might now resent or distrust. Worse, one bad breakup can spiral into claims of harassment or retaliation, putting your career and reputation on the line.
When It Might Be Safe
If you’re in different departments, don’t work on the same team, and there’s no power imbalance, the risk is lower, but not eliminated. Even in those cases, it’s still essential to follow company policies. Transparency and professionalism are key.
How to Protect Yourself If You Decide to Date a Coworker
If you’re already in a relationship with someone from work, or you’re considering starting one, take steps to protect yourself and your job.
Step 1: Review Company Policies
Start by reading the employee handbook or HR guidelines. Look for any language about romantic relationships, fraternization, or conflicts of interest. Understand what you are required to disclose, and to whom.
Step 2: Make the Disclosure
Even if it feels awkward, it’s usually better to disclose the relationship. Not only are you complying with policy, but you’re also establishing a record that the relationship is consensual. This can help protect you in the event of a complaint.
Step 3: Maintain Professional Boundaries
At work, keep things professional. Avoid public displays of affection, romantic messages on company email or chat platforms, and anything that could be perceived as unprofessional. Maintain a clear boundary between your personal relationship and your professional responsibilities.
Step 4: Have an Exit Plan
No one starts a relationship planning for it to end, but you should consider what might happen if it does. Will one of you transfer teams? Is there a plan for minimizing conflict? Thinking through these issues in advance can help reduce the fallout if things don’t work out.
What to Do If You’re Disciplined or Fired for a Workplace Relationship
If you’ve been disciplined or terminated due to a workplace relationship, and you believe it was unfair or discriminatory, you may have legal options.
Speak to an Employment Lawyer
A qualified employment attorney can help you evaluate whether your rights were violated. For example, if only one person in the relationship was disciplined (and not the other), or if the policy was enforced inconsistently, that could be a red flag.
Document Everything
Keep records of your communications with your employer and with your partner. If there were witnesses to relevant conversations or events, make a note of that. If HR was aware of the relationship but took no action until much later, that might be relevant to your case.
Consider Whether Retaliation Played a Role
Sometimes employees are fired not just for the relationship itself, but as retaliation for asserting their rights or complaints. If you reported harassment, discrimination, or illegal activity and were later fired, you could have a strong retaliation claim, regardless of the relationship issue.
Final Thoughts: Proceed with Caution
Workplace romances are tempting, and in some cases, they work out just fine. But the risks, legal, professional, and personal are real. You don’t want to jeopardize your job or your reputation because of a relationship that wasn’t handled carefully.
The best approach is to be informed. Understand your company’s policies, take steps to protect yourself, and seek legal advice if things go wrong. If you’re in doubt, it may be better to date outside your workplace entirely.
Author: Andrew Lacy, Esq.
Andrew Lacy is an employment lawyer and the founder of The Lacy Employment Law Firm. He represents employees in discrimination, retaliation, and wrongful termination cases across Pennsylvania and New Jersey. A graduate of Cornell Law School and former captain of its mock trial team, Lacy has successfully litigated complex cases, including defeating summary judgment in federal court and securing high-value settlements. He is a frequent speaker on workplace rights and has earned a reputation for strategic thinking, courtroom skill, and fierce advocacy for workers.
